{"id":2874,"date":"2018-04-26T00:30:15","date_gmt":"2018-04-26T00:30:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.destinymiracle.com\/blog\/?p=2874"},"modified":"2018-09-04T04:23:54","modified_gmt":"2018-09-04T04:23:54","slug":"how-being-a-people-pleaser-costs-you-time-energy-and-money","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/destinymiracle.com\/blog\/how-being-a-people-pleaser-costs-you-time-energy-and-money","title":{"rendered":"How Being A People Pleaser Costs You Time, Energy, And Money"},"content":{"rendered":"

from Numerologist.Com<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Tap Into the 4,000 Year Old Science of Numerological Analysis. Find out how people from all walks of life have changed their lives for the better after receiving their custom numerology report. <\/strong><\/em>Here’s a Free Numerology Video Report especially for you…<\/em><\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/h3>\n

How Being A People Pleaser Costs You Time, Energy, And Money<\/h2>\n

My name is Baljit, and I am a recovering people pleaser.<\/p>\n

On the outside I looked like so many others, simply helping out the ones I love. This would be a terrible thing to say no to, wouldn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n

It took me way too long to become aware of my addiction, but I am grateful that I did wake up, for now I know the truth of how it was keeping me small and feeling insignificant.<\/p>\n

DOING THINGS FOR OTHERS WASN\u2019T THE PROBLEM\u2026<\/strong><\/h3>\n

I still love helping people \u2013 it\u2019s the core WHY in my business.<\/p>\n

But when I kept hearing my mind scream \u201cno\u201d and my mouth automatically utter \u201cyes\u201d, I knew this wasn\u2019t good.<\/p>\n

I could lie to others, but not myself. My body would tell the truth, my time and energy was over-extended.<\/p>\n

Saying yes, and secretly meaning no made me feel awkward, keeping a mental score with others and eventually resenting the people who knew they could always count on me \u2013 for anything.<\/p>\n

WHY I ALWAYS SAID, \u201cYES\u201d\u2026<\/strong><\/h3>\n

My biggest fear when I recognized this issue for what it truly was that if I didn\u2019t say yes, then I would be letting people down, hurting them, or giving them reason to get angry with me \u2013 which I obviously wanted to avoid!<\/p>\n

So out of guilt and to the need to keep others happy, my reply was always \u201cof course I can help you, I\u2019d be happy to\u201d.<\/p>\n

I am very thankful that I\u2019m no longer there, but so many people I know still find themselves in this predicament.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m living proof to tell you that it doesn\u2019t have to be this way and you\u2019re simply just one \u201cno\u201d away from cutting the people pleasing ties that are keeping you small, allowing your authenticity to truly shine.<\/p>\n

4 TRUTHS ABOUT PEOPLE PLEASING & HOW TO BREAK FREE<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Below are 4 bold truths about people pleasing in relationships and business to help you finally break free.<\/strong><\/p>\n

1. YOU CAN\u2019T HELP ANYONE\u00a0UNTIL YOU PUT YOURSELF FIRST<\/strong><\/p>\n

Feeling drained due to helping everyone else around you is detrimental.<\/p>\n

You know how on the airplane safety videos they always tell you to put your own oxygen mask on first?<\/p>\n

This is specifically so you can stay safe, and then look at helping others, but only after you\u2019ve helped yourself first.<\/p>\n

Take a look at your current reality and ask yourself \u2013 are you doing more for your life or for others?<\/p>\n

If the latter is true, the first step to expressing your innate truth is admitting a shift needs to occur.<\/p>\n

Please note: This is not to be confused with helping others when it feels aligned, I\u2019m specifically highlighting when saying yes puts you in a place of disempowerment, going against your inner truth.<\/p>\n

2. BEING A PEOPLE PLEASER IS EXHAUSTING AND DISEMPOWERING<\/strong><\/p>\n

Work is tiring enough, but if you always show up wearing your people pleaser hat to the office or working with your clients, you\u2019re bound to come home absolutely drained \u2013 not to mention your partner\/ roommate will need to listen to you ranting on and on about how you\u2019re not valued at work, exhausting them, and possibly forcing them into people pleaser status to make you feel better! (But I digress\u2026)<\/p>\n

Knowing your own worth and standing up for yourself is the best way to break free.<\/p>\n

No one will be able to do this for you \u2013 heck they probably don\u2019t even see that there\u2019s an issue, because you\u2019re so willing to always put them first!<\/p>\n

3. TRANSFORMATION OCCURS WHEN YOU STOP TRYING TO ALWAYS PLEASE OTHERS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Remember that time when your friend asked to borrow your car, but you were just about to use it.<\/p>\n

Instead of having your planned night out, you allowed them to take it. As long as they\u2019re happy, you\u2019re happy right?<\/p>\n

Um, ya no.<\/p>\n

That doesn\u2019t work anymore when you\u2019re tapped in to the understanding of who you truly are in this world.<\/p>\n

Saying yes to things when you mean no, locks you into a brutal cycle of feeling like the energy is not being reciprocated which usually leads to resentment.<\/p>\n

Here is your permission slip: you are allowed to say no.<\/p>\n

If you feel you should give an explanation, that may help others understand you\u2019re shifting and although it may feel uncomfortable, they have the option to respect you for speaking your truth.<\/p>\n

4. SETTING CLEAR BOUNDARIES IS A MUST, IN ORDER TO SHOW UP FROM AN EMPOWERED PLACE<\/strong><\/p>\n

The truth is the more you honor your intuition and say no to others, the more you say yes to you.<\/p>\n

Think back to a time when someone close to you asked you to do something that you really didn\u2019t want to do.<\/p>\n

Everything in your mind and body was rejecting their request, but you (perhaps even joyfully, though false) said yes.<\/p>\n

How did that make you feel after the fact? My guess is a feeling of misalignment from your purpose, and ignoring your true self. So many of us ignore our true feelings to make our partner\/parent\/child\/friend happy in the moment.<\/p>\n

But if we are not showing up in our true expression, we are doing ourselves and our loved one a disservice.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s ok to stay home from the party if you\u2019re really not feeling it, the honesty you have with yourself will pave the way for others to do the same, eliminating one people pleaser at a time.<\/p>\n

We all have a fear of rejection and it\u2019s often asked \u201cbut what if I say no and my friends stop inviting me or don\u2019t like me anymore\u201d. Doing things out of obligation or fear of rejection is unfair to everyone.<\/p>\n

When you buy into the excuses that override your truth, you lower your self-worth by believing on some level that what you have to offer is not valuable enough.<\/p>\n

Do you know what actually happened when I started saying \u201cno\u201d to people? I earned more respect and the feeling of being taken advantage of totally disappeared.<\/p>\n

I WAS TRULY NOW BACK IN MY POWER<\/strong><\/h3>\n

My relationships blossomed and my business soared when I fully realized that this transformation must happen from within and that I am the conduit, not the source for the transformation of my clients and loved ones.<\/p>\n

By honouring my truth, setting healthy boundaries and asking for divine guidance of how to best support my relationships, I was able to overcome my addiction, proudly awarding myself the title of recovering people pleaser.<\/p>\n

Here’s a Free Numerology Video Report especially for you…<\/a><\/h2>\n

\"Free<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

from Numerologist.Com Tap Into the 4,000 Year Old Science of Numerological Analysis. Find out how people from all walks of life have changed their lives for the better after receiving their custom numerology report. Here’s a Free Numerology Video Report especially for you… How Being A People Pleaser Costs You…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":2877,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[26,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2874","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-happiness","category-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/destinymiracle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2874","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/destinymiracle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/destinymiracle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/destinymiracle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/15"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/destinymiracle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2874"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/destinymiracle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2874\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2876,"href":"https:\/\/destinymiracle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2874\/revisions\/2876"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/destinymiracle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2877"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/destinymiracle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2874"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/destinymiracle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2874"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/destinymiracle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2874"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}