{"id":3319,"date":"2018-06-18T01:15:30","date_gmt":"2018-06-18T01:15:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.destinymiracle.com\/blog\/?p=3319"},"modified":"2018-06-18T01:17:52","modified_gmt":"2018-06-18T01:17:52","slug":"how-to-save-your-relationship-6-essential-steps","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/destinymiracle.com\/blog\/how-to-save-your-relationship-6-essential-steps","title":{"rendered":"How To Save Your Relationship (6 Essential Steps)"},"content":{"rendered":"

From How To Respark The Romance<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

Discover the Weird But Powerful Secret That Will Automatically MAKE Him Become More Charming And Romantic Towards You\u2026\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/h3>\n

Learn How To Make Him Yours<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/h3>\n

How To Save Your Relationship<\/h2>\n

You\u2019ve had good times, hard times, and everything in between. You\u2019ve been through a lot together. And you don\u2019t want to call it quits. Working on a relationship can be rewarding and even bring you closer together.<\/p>\n

The first step is being willing to honestly look at issues and fix them while cultivating positive habits.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s easy to fall into ruts of miscommunication, hurt feelings, and bad relationship habits.<\/p>\n

Those habits can ruin a relationship. John Gottman, author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and the director of the \u201clove lab\u201d found indicators that a relationship wouldn\u2019t work out.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s well worth it to learn what NOT to do, and what to do instead to keep your love alive.<\/strong><\/p>\n

1. Don\u2019t turn away; turn toward your partner<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Let\u2019s say your partner is sitting next to you and says, \u201cThere\u2019s a new movie playing at the theater.\u201d<\/p>\n

Do you:<\/p>\n

A. Make a noise and continue staring at your phone.
\nB. Say, \u201cOh.\u201d
\nC. Say, \u201cOh, cool, what it is?\u201d
\nD. Look at your partner and ask, \u201cWhat is it? Do you want to go?\u201d
\nChoice A is turning away. You\u2019re ignoring your partner and showing that you don\u2019t care.<\/p>\n

Choice B is turn away too. It\u2019s just not quite as rude.<\/p>\n

Choice C is okay. You\u2019re showing interest.<\/p>\n

Choice D is turning toward your partner. You realized they were reaching out, acknowledged them, and reached back.<\/p>\n

You can guess which response will make your partner feel closer.<\/p>\n

Everyone makes small gestures like this, reaching out to connect. We start a conversation, try to engage the other, and show that we care.<\/p>\n

If you pick up on these, you can show your partner that you notice them and appreciate them.<\/p>\n

Turning toward your partner builds romance, trust, and communication, and avoids hurt feelings or anger.<\/p>\n

If you reach out and your partner doesn\u2019t notice or engage, don\u2019t get angry. They might not see what you\u2019re doing.<\/p>\n

You can kindly explain that you\u2019d like to connect more, and that was your way of reaching out to them.<\/p>\n

Honestly goes a long ways, and so does sharing that you want to make things better.<\/p>\n

2. Avoid the harsh start up for conversations<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Coming at someone with criticism or statements that start with \u201calways\u201d or \u201cnever\u201d kill communication.<\/p>\n

An example would be: \u201cYou never help with chores around here.\u201d<\/p>\n

A better way of starting the conversation would be: \u201cIt was so helpful when you took the trash out last week.\u201d<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re hurt or annoyed, start with something soft such as, \u201cSomething\u2019s been bothering me, and I don\u2019t think I can let it go without talking to you.\u201d You want a positive outcome for the conversation.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re more likely to get there if you start with a team mindset instead of attacking.<\/p>\n

3. Avoid the Toxic 4 Habits<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Four things kill relationships faster than anything:<\/p>\n

\u2022 Criticism
\n\u2022 Defensiveness
\n\u2022 Stonewalling
\n\u2022 Contempt<\/p>\n

No one likes to be criticized. It\u2019s better to say something about the action than put the person down. You could also try praise for a positive behavior because people usually respond to that better.<\/p>\n

Defensiveness is defending yourself, or even just explaining, when your partner tries to talk to you. It feels like you\u2019re telling them they\u2019re wrong.<\/p>\n

Stonewalling usually follows the first two. This is one partner giving the other the cold shoulder, not talking, or avoiding. Sometimes the partner will be physically present but tunes the other out.<\/p>\n

These first three lead to contempt, which is like the final nail in the coffin of a relationship.<\/p>\n

Contempt is when someone really can\u2019t stand the other. The person might mock them, roll their eyes, use sarcasm, sneer, gossip, and show outright hatred.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s like someone took all of their negative emotions and reactions and simmered them for a long time. You do not want your relationship to get to this point.<\/p>\n

Hopefully, you can catch things at an earlier stage.<\/p>\n

If you see these behaviors in your relationship from you and\/or your partner, ask to have a talk.<\/p>\n

Look for better ways to communicate, such as the methods listed here.<\/p>\n

Click Here To Learn How To Make Him Yours For Good<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n

4. Don\u2019t focus on the negative; tip the scales to the positive side<\/strong><\/h3>\n

In any situation, if you have a negative atmosphere, you\u2019re not going to be happy.<\/p>\n

If everyone at work talks about what they don\u2019t like about the boss, the office, the schedules, and the pay, then everyone is going to feel like it\u2019s not a good place to work.<\/p>\n

The same is true in your relationship. You can choose to focus on negative things and hang onto them.<\/p>\n

Or you can choose to look for positive things.<\/p>\n

People tend to assume the worst. What if you made it a habit to assume the best about your partner?<\/p>\n

Tell yourself they have the best intentions, and if they said something that hurt your feelings, it was an accident.<\/p>\n

If something happens that feels hurtful, give them the benefit of the doubt.<\/p>\n

In any situation, step back and ask yourself how you can see things in a more positive light.<\/p>\n

This takes practice, but after a while, you\u2019ll be amazed at how your life and relationship are changing for the better.<\/p>\n

5. Avoid \u201cgrowing apart\u201d with curiosity<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Some couples get to the point that they don\u2019t check in with each other. There are many milestones along the way to that point.<\/p>\n

You might only ask them, \u201cHow was your day?\u201d but not really know what\u2019s going on in their life.<\/p>\n

Think about if you really connect and know what\u2019s stressing them, what they\u2019re excited about, and what they\u2019re trying to accomplish.<\/p>\n

Think of a few unexpected questions to ask.<\/p>\n

Sit down and explore different things like:<\/p>\n

What\u2019s changed in the last year?<\/p>\n

Do you know any new people?<\/p>\n

Is the atmosphere at work a good one, and why?<\/p>\n

What are you hoping to see happen this year? In the next five years?<\/p>\n

Do you have any concerns about life right now?<\/p>\n

The point is to reconnect and really understand each other. You might find they\u2019ve been dealing with something that\u2019s been affecting the relationship, and you didn\u2019t know.<\/p>\n

6. Replace \u201cI understand\u201d with \u201cI see what you\u2019re saying\u201d.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Terminology can make such a huge difference when you think about your words.<\/p>\n

If you tell someone, \u201cI understand,\u201d it often annoys them. They don\u2019t think that you do truly understand.<\/p>\n

But if you say, \u201cI see what you\u2019re saying,\u201d it implies that you can see their point of view.<\/p>\n

\u201cI see what you\u2019re saying\u201d doesn\u2019t mean the other person is right, but it opens the door to talk about it more.<\/p>\n

Other things that you can say and change the tone of the conversation include:<\/p>\n

\u2022 I see your point
\n\u2022 Can we take a breather?
\n\u2022 Is there a way to compromise on this?
\n\u2022 Maybe we should start the conversation over.
\n\u2022 Okay, so are you saying _______________. (Paraphrase to make sure you understand them.)
\n\u2022 Does it seem like I\u2019m understanding you?
\n\u2022 I want to understand this.
\n\u2022 I\u2019m confused, but I want to work together.<\/p>\n

Implementing these 6 practices into your relationship will help communication, connection, and turn things around.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Click Here To Learn How To Make Him Yours For Good<\/strong><\/a>\"How<\/a><\/h2>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

From How To Respark The Romance Discover the Weird But Powerful Secret That Will Automatically MAKE Him Become More Charming And Romantic Towards You\u2026\u00a0 Learn How To Make Him Yours How To Save Your Relationship You\u2019ve had good times, hard times, and everything in between. You\u2019ve been through a lot…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":3320,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,25,21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3319","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-life","category-personal-growth","category-relationships"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/destinymiracle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3319","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/destinymiracle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/destinymiracle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/destinymiracle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/23"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/destinymiracle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3319"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/destinymiracle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3319\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3323,"href":"https:\/\/destinymiracle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3319\/revisions\/3323"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/destinymiracle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3320"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/destinymiracle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3319"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/destinymiracle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3319"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/destinymiracle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3319"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}