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How To Respark The Romance
10 Secrets of Happy Couples
Happy couples really enjoy each other’s company. They’re supportive of one another. They even exhibit a vibrant sense of sexuality and romance.
It’s a powerful combination!
The good news is you can have a happy relationship—without finding a new partner.
Achieving a happy relationship just takes developing the right habits and skills. It simply takes some “secret” information and a desire to make your relationship the very best. And by “secret,” I actually mean you can read it right here.
Happy couples simply have different habits than unhappy couples. It’s these habits that make their relationship so great.
It takes around 21 days for new a behavior to become a habit, but you can reap the rewards from the habit right away.
And after a few weeks, your new relationship behaviors will become habits and keep your relationship vibrant and happy.
Even if you slip up with the habits you choose to implement, just make a new commitment and keep going.
Let’s look at 10 habits that make couples happy couples—the last 3 might surprise you!
1. Happy couples communicate and listen with an open mind and heart
It’s all too easy to get into negative communication patterns and cycles.
We start out as a happy couple, but then little annoyances turn into the silent treatment, smack talk, nasty comebacks, and it gets worse from there.
Even fun sassing can hurt feelings and lead to something worse if it’s not addressed.
As little things grow, you might see criticism and defending, demanding communication and withdrawal, and outright fighting.
People start to feel like they’re not heard, that their partner doesn’t care, that the other person nags, or that the other person is always angry or passive-aggressive.
This is not grounds for a healthy relationship! So what do happy couples do differently?
They clear things up, which is another point we’ll talk about soon. Before that, they have different communication habits. Happy couples are more present when they’re communicating, really listening to the other person.
That means listening to listen, not to plan what you want to say. Take a conversation and make it your goal to simply listen and see what you can do for your partner.
Happy couples hear the other’s needs and take them seriously. They validate the other person.
If you can listen with an open heart and mind, you can hear your partner better and create a sense of being on the same team.
That’s huge in relationships, and it can transform a relationship that’s going through a rough patch.
2. Happy couples support each other’s happiness
People in a happy relationship think about their partner’s happiness, and show that by being thoughtful, celebrating the other’s success, and stepping up to do extra work when needed.
A happy relationship is a give and take. Sometimes, one person gives 150% because the other is sick, hurt, or going through something.
And then things change, and the other person gives more. They both help the other because they love them and want them to be happy.
Happy couples don’t keep score—nothing is ever truly equal, but you can both do things and show love in different ways. And people in a happy relationship are truly happy for the other when they succeed. It’s not a competition, but a partnership.
You can tell a lot about a relationship if you watch how they react to good news from the other.
You can make a huge difference in your relationship by being enthusiastic about your partner’s personal and professional achievements.
3. Happy couples make time for romance and sexuality
Happy couples feel close to each other, and that comes from sharing many different things.
Intimacy is one thing that can keep a couple close even when they both have busy lives. Time together and having fun can inspire romance and a healthy sex life.
Consider having a weekly date night or a monthly weekend if you can.
Healthy couples have time daily where they can focus on each other.
4. Happy couples don’t expect each other to change
Happy couples don’t try to change each other.
That eliminates a lot of conflict, arguments, nagging, and unsatisfied expectations. Of course, you’re wondering how you can overlook all those things that annoy you.
Focus on the good instead. Compliment your partner when they do something you like.
The thing is, whatever you look for, you can find. So if you’re annoyed and on the lookout for negative things, you’ll find them.
The same is true for good things. If you look for things to appreciate, you’ll start to see your partner in a more positive light.
If something truly bothers you, you should discuss it with your partner. But consider if it’s really a small issue that you’ve turned into something more, or if it’s a true issue.
5. Happy couples repair fights
Happy couples have healthy communication. So when something is wrong, they’re more likely to talk to the other about it. They’ll also try to stay connected even if the issue isn’t completely resolved.
But that’s a big point: happy couples talk about real issue and work on them.
The opposite is to let things fester, or one partner is unwilling to talk about it. Sometimes one person will ignore issues and try to act like everything is fine, even when the other person wants to work on it. That doesn’t help things.
Happy couples repair the relationship by apologizing, reaching out, using an affectionate tone of voice, making positive comments, suggesting a fun activity together, and trying to show that they understand.
Happy couples see fights and arguments as temporary things, and they fix them and move on.
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6. Happy couples have a sense of partnership
Many people see happy couples and feel a sense of jealousy. It’s often the closeness that they want, and a sense of partnership.
In unhealthy relationships, one or both people don’t consider how their decisions affect their partners.
People in happy relationships make decisions together, and both of them think about the relationship (the other’s feelings), their family, and their shared goals.
Another aspect of a sense of partnership is cultivating common interests.
Happy couples will find things they can do together along with encouraging each other with their own interests.
Let’s move on to 3 surprising things that many happy couples do.
7. Happy couples go to bed at the same time
When first together, couples spend their evenings together and usually go to bed together…excited for some time alone. Happy couples keep up that routine as much as possible.
Going to bed together gives you time to talk, cuddle, and continue a healthy sex life.
8. Happy couples walk side by side or holding hands
This doesn’t sound like a big deal, or something you’d even notice…until you see a couple that walks separately, one walking ahead of the other.
Happy couples make a point of walking together, talking, and touching.
9. Happy couples say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every day
We face tension and conflict many days, so it’s nice to start the day by connecting and feeling close to our partner.
Some couples might think they don’t need to say “I love you” but that can indicate an unresolved issue. Even skipping pleasantries like “have a good day” can mean there’s some issues, or at least that the couple isn’t showing thoughtfulness and care to each other.
Those little things matter, and they make a big difference in the happiness of both people.
10. Happy couples check in with each other during the day
It feels nice when someone asks how you’re doing or how your day is going.
It’s really nice when your partner checks in with you, even if it just lets you know they’re thinking about you. It has other benefits, too. Besides creating warmth and closeness, you can see how each other are doing. That way, you have an idea of how things are going before seeing each other in the evening.
If your partner is having a super rough day, you’ll know ahead of time. You can surprise them with a gift, cook dinner, or set aside some quiet time for them.
You won’t greet them, expecting them to be in a great mood and ready to listen to you about your day.
So it really pays off to check in with each other.
Happy couples create habits that keep them in sync and close, so both people can feel like their opinion and needs matter, and that they can depend on the other person.
It’s not that hard to develop habits like these, and they all will significantly improve your relationship.
Try out a few of these “happy couple” habits, and see how you and your partner are doing in a month. You’ll agree the effort doesn’t seem like work when you feel yourself smiling as you go home to see your partner!
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