Author of Manifestation Miracle
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How to Manage Expectations
We can’t fully escape expectations on a daily basis. There’s our own set of expectations and others’ expectations, and both come to us day in and day out.
It can be quite stressful to always keep these standards in mind.
Here are a few steps to minimize your anxiety about them.
Goals vs. Expectations
You need to be able to separate what you’re targeting and what your ideal is. Your target should be the vision in front of you while your expectations should be kept in your periphery.
The difference is this, let’s say you’re a real estate agent targeting to close 10 deals a month, that’s your goal. But just because you’re aiming for that doesn’t mean you should make that your expectation as well.
Just because you’re aiming for something doesn’t mean you’ll achieve it, but it’s still good to have goals to reach for.
If you were just able to close 7 deals that month, don’t make yourself feel like a failure for it.
You may not have reached your target and that’s not ideal, but you need to learn to celebrate the victories in your defeat and try again.
Identify Expectations
People have the tendency to apply previous expectations to new situations.
This can be a form of self-sabotage as it could push you not to see what is actually there to make way for the vision in your head.
It can be extremely difficult to adjust your expectations especially when you already have it stamped in your head of how things ought to be.
Ideally, we learn from previous experiences. We need to retain the lessons we’ve learned from being in different situations.
But it becomes harmful when we also bring the baggage of unrealistic expectations, or worse, to add to the list.
For example, if you came from a bad relationship and you’re in a new one, the expectations that weren’t met previously and added to the demise of that relationship should be adjusted and custom fit to the new relationship in your life.
You don’t bring the same expectations into it.
If you do that, then you risk having it end the same way.
You need to improve on your expectations, to adjust them. They aren’t supposed to be permanent fixtures or standards. They need to be flexible because people and situations change.
Once you’ve accepted that, the easier it will be to remind yourself that you need to be open to adjustments.
Under-promise, Over-deliver
Sometimes the stress we experience results from our own actions.
People want to please other people in general. Not all, but most people do.
In the hopes of pleasing others, we tend to promise all sorts of things in the moment.
For example, to get your partner to do a favor for you, you overcompensate by promising to do their laundry for a month or to cook dinner for 2 weeks, when in reality it’s not at all feasible to do this.
Then after the favor has been granted, it dawns on you what you promised in exchange. You start stressing about the promise you made and can’t deliver.
Instead of promising a month, start from promising the current week instead. Then if you feel generous, continue doing it until the next. That way, you don’t only fulfill your promise, you end up exceeding it.
Play your cards smartly. Promise the bare minimum so that it’s easy to meet and even to surpass and you look like a hero doing it too!
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