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How to Stop Being Toxic
We all have baggage from our past, from our childhood, maybe even from a previous life. The bottom line is, we’re all products of the things that have happened to us.
But I believe there are two types of people in life–those who get defeated by their past and those who refuse to let the past define them.
The toxic people are always from the former.
They are the ones who never take responsibility for their actions or mistakes (it’s always somebody else’s fault), the ones who take self-pity to the next level and feels victimized by people and circumstances, the ones who keep their mistakes on repeat and still wonder what the hell they are doing wrong.
They just don’t get it.
They don’t understand that the world doesn’t owe them anything, that they make their own luck, and that life goes on and they should too.
So how does one stop being a toxic kind of person? Here are a few tips to help you or someone that you know:
Admit it
The first step to solving anything is admitting that there is a problem and you know exactly what it is. People almost always deny that there is something to fix, because for some reason people are afraid to admit weaknesses.
Toxic people are ten times more stubborn. The sooner one realizes they are being toxic or they have toxic behavior, the sooner they can start to rehabilitate their lives.
There’s nothing shameful about realizing you’ve been spiralling down. What’s worse is never having the courage to look at yourself and improving what can be improved upon.
Get help
Don’t let the stigma of seeing a therapist discourage you from reaching out for help. It really helps to have an outsider look into your life and assess where your problem might be coming from, where your behavior is rooted, things like that.
A professional will help you see your life from a different perspective, offer you different approaches to your hurdles, and help you understand why you are the way you are.
Don’t be embarrassed in seeking help from others. At least you are trying to make a difference.
Change your lifestyle
Stop drinking too much, or maybe quit alcohol altogether, start exercising more, start going to brunches more than staying up all night until brunch.
Moving away from your usual routine will help you get things in perspective. It would also help if you can join in on your friends who are like this as well to make it easier for you to transition.
Staying up at night drinking, lacking sleep, getting exhausted, really takes a toll on both your mind and your body. Alcohol and other bad habits have a way of making you feel more depressed and unmotivated.
By changing your lifestyle and picking up healthier habits, you’re more likely to improve your mood and your feelings about life.
Stop seeking attention
Sometimes toxic people keep making the same mistakes and being the way they are as a manner of getting the attention that they crave. Any kind of attention.
They drink to be invited to parties, they like being loud, being the center of attention, they flirt with whomever they like, even the wrong kinds of people, etc. They display behavior that will get people to notice them.
Instead of seeking attention, pay attention to yourself. Observe how you have been behaving with others and why you do so. This will help you assess yourself and open your eyes.
Redeem yourself
When you have realized how you have been behaving, and finding the error in your ways, also recap who you might have hurt along the way or given a hard time to. By being aware of these people, you can apologize and start to make amends.
Prove that you are changing, and that you want to embrace these changes so that you won’t be the same way ever again.
It’s never too late to own up to your mistakes and begin repairing both yourself and your relationships.
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