Author of Manifestation Miracle
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Why You Keep Sabotaging Your Dreams
Before I made a breakthrough in my own life, I used to be stuck in a mediocre state like most people.
I felt this deep sense of dissatisfaction that I couldn’t shake off. And at the time, I didn’t know that the solution was staring me right in the face.
A huge part of me was scared to try because I was too deep in my “comfort zone”. You’ve probably heard that term thrown around a lot if you’ve been reading personal development material for some time now.
But it’s true – it’s the reason why a lot of people (myself included) never act on their life-changing ideas.
Worse, they actually sabotage themselves to stay in their comfort zone – even if it means giving up on their dreams.
People unconsciously do this in many ways, and I was guilty of this too. I remember how painful it was to be in that dark place, and a video I recently watched reminded me of that:
Mel Robbins, an on-air commentator, TV host, author and life coach, did a TED talk called “How to Stop Screwing Yourself Over”.
According to her, a third of Americans – or a hundred million people – feel dissatisfied with their lives right now.
When I said a ‘lot of people’, I wasn’t kidding. And chances are the biggest obstacle isn’t some physical barrier that’s keeping them from what they want.
As Mel puts it, it’s the ‘Inner Snooze Button’ that comes up whenever someone has a fantastic, life-changing idea. As soon as it comes up, people hit snooze on their idea and put it to sleep for good.
But why do people (as Mel cheekily points out) keep screwing themselves like this?
The biggest reason is that people convince themselves that they’re ‘fine’. And according to Mel, here are the reasons why this word is toxic to your dreams:
- Saying you’re ‘fine’ means you’ve convinced yourself that you’re OK even if you don’t have what you want.
- Being ‘fine’ means you are not pushing yourself.
- ‘Fine’ describes the areas in your life where you’ve given up.
I was like that before: perfectly ‘happy’ to be where I was in life. For the longest time, I was ‘fine’ being an average woman with no scary ambitions that would disturb my self-made cocoon of mediocrity.
All those unique ideas I had that could make a difference would just have to take a backseat for good.
But that’s the most painful reality of all…
People lose sight of just how special they are and the value they bring into the world. All those plans that could have taken them to the next level are permanently on hold.
And the root of the problem is the resistance to change that builds up in your mind.
Tell me if the following thoughts sound familiar to you when an awesome idea pops up in your head:
“Oh that’s just too much trouble…I’m FINE right here, thank you very much.”
“That seems like a whole lot of work…maybe next time.”
“I don’t really have the energy or skills to do that…”
“My job isn’t that bad…I can pay the bills and eat so that’s good enough…”
“I’m just not feeling it right now…maybe when I’m ready…”
That last one is especially insidious. That’s your brain playing a trick on you because you KNOW that you’ll NEVER feel like doing it.
To get around this mental trap, Mel says you need to use your ‘Activation Energy’.
This is the energy inside you that FORCES you to do the things you NEED to do…
…even if you don’t feel like doing it.
When your parents woke you up to go to school, you didn’t feel like it, but they forced you to. The first few minutes of waking up felt awful, but you were ok after that.
Now that you’re all grown up, you’ll have to “parent yourself” as Mel says. She made this point that struck me the most:
“It’s your job to do the things you don’t want to do so you can become everything that you are supposed to be.”
Then she hit the audience with a little trick to overcome that inertia. It’s what Mel calls The Five Second Rule which destroys any hesitation in your mind.
Here’s how it works…
She states that there are two sides of the brain: Emergency Brake and Autopilot.
Anything you do that’s part of your routine falls under Autopilot. And when you try to do something outside of that, you instinctively pull the Emergency Brake.
So the Five Second Rule states that your brain will pull the brake FIVE SECONDS after thinking of a new idea. The trick then is to marry your idea with a tangible action BEFORE you hit the brakes.
It doesn’t have to be a huge step. What matters is that your action – no matter how small it is – brings you closer to executing your idea.
And this resonated with me because I know EXACTLY what it feels like to NOT FEEL like doing what’s needed to make my plans happen.
I realized back then that no amount of external motivation was going to get me off the couch.
If I wanted to change my life, I had to drag myself out of that pit of inaction. I accepted the fact that it was going to be an uncomfortable process, like swallowing a spoonful of bitter medicine.
It wasn’t fun, but I powered through the process knowing that it was going to make me better in the end.
And if you want to get rid of the urge to fall into a mediocre routine, I’ve got the formula right here.
Click that link above to learn the little-known scientific formula that FORCES the Universe to turn your ideas into REALITY. Once you know the truth, there’s no going back…
To your success,
Heather Mathews
