Author of Manifestation Miracle
We all long to be happy. Our constitution even says we have the right to peruse happiness. That doesn’t mean we all get to be happy, but we have the right to try, which implies it’s up to us.
That might be a strange concept to some. We all want to be happy, but what do we do to make that happen? The better question might be, what do we do that actually works to increase our happiness? We can’t do the same things and expect different outcomes, so what can we change?
Well, we can change our thinking, our attitude, and what we do. Let’s dig deeper into that, starting with my original point about true happiness:
1. You are responsible for your own happiness.
It’s easy to think that you’ll be happy as soon as you find a soul mate, or get a better job, or make more money. There’s always more “better” things out there, right? But you have to learn to be happy with what you have first.
If you base your happiness on something that you can lose, then you can lose your happiness. I should clarify that it’s perfectly fine to be happy because you’re with someone, or you’re happy with your family, job, life, etc… But that’s different than making those things the basis for your happiness. They are things that add to your happiness.
2. Valuing relationships builds happiness.
We shouldn’t base our happiness on another person, but having several people that we’re close to is a basic human need. We want to feel close to others, share with them, laugh with them, and feel supported by them.
If you take a few minutes each day to do something nice for someone in your life, you’ll be amazed at how it transforms the relationship. Imagine if your spouse brought you a cup of coffee and asked if they could do anything for you. Wow. Or your son comes home from school and asks if you’d like help with something. Now picture doing that for someone else.
You can invest in relationships by checking in with friends and family. Ask them how they are, and what they’d like to go do together sometime.
Relationships enrich our lives and our happiness!
3. Travel inspires happiness! See the world or part of it that inspires awe.
For many people, memories of fun times, vacations, and positive experiences build up their happiness. You can pull those out anytime and remember the feelings you felt then. It’s fun to buy new things, but don’t neglect putting away some money for travel and doing things.
4. Play. Learn. Grow. It’ll make you giddy on life.
Find creative outlets like painting, drawing, or building. Visit a science museum or aquarium. Remember that curiosity you had as a kid? Remember how much you loved experiencing something new and learning? Adults can take field trips too.
Keeping that love of learning alive will make you feel happy and alive. It also gets you and your mind away from work, bills, and other responsibilities. Take a walk through the forest or on the beach, and turn your phone off. (Or put it in your pocket and don’t check it every five minutes!)
5. Gratitude is a huge part of happiness.
Happy people practice gratitude. They look around their life and count their blessings, even the little things like the sun shining that day, their favorite movie coming out, to bigger things like getting to see an old friend.
Giving increases happiness too. It helps you feel good about what you’re doing and thankful that you’re able to help others.
6. True happiness means different things to different people.
You might be happy if you only have a little shack on the water and a fishing boat. Sign me up! I just need a laptop and wifi.
Some people want to build a business, a large home, and have something to pass onto their kids. Victor dreams of growing his vineyard into a world famous winery. Karen wants to be a famous chef.
Other people only want freedom, like Ginger who wants to live in a camper and explore the US. Eric might want to backpack Europe and then travel South America by buss.
Heather, on the other hand, wants to do mission work and help the underprivileged.
True happiness is what will make you feel happy, but also while feeling valuable. Most people want to give back, even the people who just want to travel usually interact with others and love learning about other people.
7. Happiness means being true to yourself.
It’s hard to feel happy when you feel like you can’t speak your mind or that you don’t want to put yourself out there. Let your light shine! Show the world how special, quirky, smart, helpful, and talented you are.
This includes following your passion or dream. You have something to offer the world, and you’ll feel so much happier and fulfilled if you develop that and make a difference.
8. Happiness doesn’t mean you’re constantly feeling joy.
You’ll have down days and hard times. Happiness is a choice, however, so you can realize that things will pick up.
Some people who seek happiness will panic when they have some down days, and that can even lead to depression. It’s okay to just be “Okay” and not overjoyed or super ecstatic every day.
There are some people with super high energy. When you’re around them, you might feel like you’re missing out and you’re not as happy. But they have a different natural set point. For people who are much more low key, they can feel drained after too long with those high energy people.
The point here is that you have a natural happiness and energy set point. You can do things to be happier, but also understand that you’re working with your personality and energy level.
9. Happiness isn’t the end of the ride.
You can’t ride the happy train to the end and get off to a place where “you’ve arrived” and you’ll always be happy.
You can sorta “arrive” in life, but our emotions aren’t a platform we stop on. You’ll have ups, downs, and everything in between. And that’s good! If we were completely happy all the time, we’d get bored…and then depressed. It’s okay to get excited, upset, angry, sad, peaceful, thoughtful, and a whole array of mixed emotions.
You’ll have days when you cry over someone you lost, but you’ll also have good memories again too. It’s how life works. Don’t be afraid of times when you’re not up.
Happiness is an attitude that you can choose, and it means that you’re happy with your life. True happiness means you feel that you’re authentic to yourself, you add value to the world and your family, and you have people you care about.
True happiness is about acceptance in a way: you accept the good in life, in other people, and in you. It’s a place where you don’t have to stress about if you’re doing the right thing or you’re in the right place. You know you’ve followed your heart and you’re living the life you want.
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Heather