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How to Resolve Issues in 3 Steps
Many people don’t know how to deal with the things that happen in their lives, which causes them to sweep everything under the rug. Out of sight, out of mind, correct?
Well, not exactly.
Just because you choose to ignore something, to ignore reality, it doesn’t mean that it’s not there. And you’re only fooling yourself if you think that turning your head a different direction will keep your mind from getting affected by whatever it is you’re trying to avoid.
The more you deal with your problems like this, the more you try to delay confrontation or the need to admit there’s a matter that needs your attention, the longer that it will haunt you.
Follow these steps to free yourself from worrying about facing problems.
Acknowledge your feelings
The first step to solving anything is always to acknowledge that the problem exists. In this case, you have to acknowledge your feelings.
What does it mean when we say ‘acknowledge your feelings’?
When we get hurt, upset, or angry, most people’s first instincts, especially those who don’t process emotions well, is to deny that they feel anything of the sort.
Think kids—they are the prime example of those who deny their feelings first that’s why when adults act accordingly, we brand them as being childish.
So denial is the knee-jerk reaction when we feel something negative and we want to project a tougher image. But sooner or later, that negativity will take a hold on us and grow that feeling exponentially the next time it happens.
Which brings us to the reason why it’s important to be able to acknowledge our feelings properly.
If we don’t acknowledge how we truly feel, we won’t be able to explain ourselves to the people who offend us and they will not know that they have done so, and if they don’t know, then they can’t begin to make amends or to help make us feel better.
Figure out the root cause
Now that you know how to acknowledge your feelings, it’s also important to take a further step back into what could have caused you to react a certain way to a situation.
Let’s say you get upset about your partner telling a story to a friend of theirs that you have thought of ways to be more pragmatic with your expenses.
Although it’s seemingly harmless, and from a different perspective, impressive, you begin to feel upset about this.
Your partner will begin to wonder why. You can’t just say you’re upset and leave it at that. There has to be a deeper reason why you got upset over something that’s innocent.
Your reason, let’s say, is that you got upset because it implies that you’re cheap or that you’re not financially stable, and this brings out your insecurity about not being able to provide, about not being good enough, and so on and so forth.
Your partner needs to know that this simple incident has a deeper connotation for you.
You need to explain where you’re coming from or they will never understand that you have feelings that run deep on certain matters.
Move forward
After you identify and acknowledge what and where your feelings are coming from, moving forward, you are better equipped to handle similar situations that will trigger your emotions.
They will no longer compound on each situation that makes you feel that way because you have already learned how to express your feelings and to release them from their power over you.
Also, because you and other people know what your triggers are, it should be easier to avoid them altogether.
If it’s not possible to circumnavigate the tricky situations, at least you know that there’s a better way of dealing with them.
In order to resolve your issues, you need to know that you have the power to do so.
Issues can recur, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t beatable.
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