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Overcoming Codependency: 5 Ways To Become More Independent
Throughout life, we become a lot more independent as we grow, and sometimes it can be hard to recognize that this is a good thing.
When we are young, we are a lot more dependent on others (such as our parents, or other family members).
For some people, it can be quite hard to become more independent. We can move out of our parent’s house, only to become dependent on who we are now living with, and the cycle continues.
Becoming more independent is very important and can have huge benefits, let’s firstly take a look at why you should be more independent.
Why Should You Be More Independent?
There are many reasons why we should all become more independent, whether it’s financially, emotionally or in your career.
Sometimes we may not know that we are being dependent on others, so it’s always worth taking a step back and trying to recognize whether or not you are independent.
Being more independent can be extremely important, as it can help you with the following things.
Your Confidence
When you become independent, you may find that you will start to feel and act more confident. As you only have yourself to rely on, you can start to believe in yourself more, which will help you to feel more confident in yourself.
Become Less Reliant On Others
When you are more independent, you won’t need to rely on others so much. This is a good thing, as you will learn to be OK with your own company and will appreciate others help more when you really need it.
Reduces Stress
As you won’t need to depend on others, you are less likely to be disappointed or stressed when making plans, you only have yourself to rely on.
Improves Self-Value
Being independent means trusting yourself and your own instincts. This shows that you value yourself and your decision making, you will also feel accomplished when you do something independently.
5 Ways To Become More Independent
Now that you know what the benefits of becoming more independent are, we can begin to look at how exactly you can start to become more independent.
There are many ways to do this, but I have put together 5 things you can start to do which will help you to achieve this.
1. Learn More About Yourself
If you are unsure of who you really are, it can be quite hard to start being more independent. You might find that you say yes to things you don’t really want to do or vise-versa.
It can be quite beneficial to start journaling so that you can get to know yourself a bit better. In doing this, you can see how you feel and why you make the behaviors and actions you make.
This can make it easier when it comes to being more independent, as you should feel more confident that you know who you are and understand how your thought patterns work.
Reflecting on your own actions and thoughts can really help you to start to trust your own instincts and know what you want out of life and the things you do. This can make it a lot easier to know how and where you want to become more independent in life.
2. Stop Asking For Permission From Others
When you can stop asking for permission from others on certain decisions and plans, this can help to improve your independence. This is showing yourself that you can trust your own mind and emotions to help you chose certain situations.
If you are constantly asking for others opinions and permission, then you are becoming dependent on their ideas and this will not help you.
If you can become more aware of your own instinct and thoughts or feelings, instead of asking others what they think you can start to become more independent.
When you ask someone for their own opinion on something, you most likely already have the answer you are hoping for, and just want someone’s approval.
So, next time you are thinking of asking for someone’s permission, think about what you want the answer to be first and go along with your own instinct.
3. Become More Assertive
Other people can sometimes start to depend on you as they know you will most likely, if not always, say yes to them. If you can learn to become more assertive, this will mean that you know when it’s OK to say no and put yourself first.
When you start to put your own needs above others (when necessary) this is showing independence and self-value.
Sometimes you can become so dependent on helping others out and put their needs above your own that you can forget about yourself and what you want to be doing.
Try and be more assertive in life and with your relationships, so that you can start to focus more on yourself and becoming independent.
Those who care about you should understand this and should be OK if you say no once in a while.
4. Arrange Some ‘Alone’ Dates
Another great way to practice being independent is to do things you would normally do with others, by yourself. For example, you can plan dates with yourself for things such as going to the cinema or going out for dinner.
This can show great confidence, and self-worth as well as being more independent and comfortable with your own company.
If you can try and do this at least once a month it can really help you with your self-esteem and not always having to make plans with others for things you want to do in life.
This can also be seen as a sign of self-love as you are showing yourself that you are comfortable with yourself and being out alone. This can be a great thing to do when you start to stop being codependent.
5. Learn To Give Yourself Emotional Support
When times are hard and you find yourself feeling down or stressed, we can often turn to other people for comfort and wise words.
There is nothing wrong with this, however, when we depend on this and not our own support, this can be where we start to become codependent.
If you can learn to give yourself emotional support, you can start to feel more in control of your feelings and how you live your life.
When you comfort yourself and do not need to rely on others to feel happy, you are showing yourself great emotional support.
This is important as you are not only showing yourself you can go out and be physically independent, but you are also proving to yourself you can support yourself emotionally, without help from others.
If you need some extra help with overcoming codependency, it is worth having a look at our self-hypnosis program on it, and start practicing today.
