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5 Habits That Can Ruin Your Relationship
There’s no one formula to make relationships work. But there are variables that help to see if it will succeed or not.
Relationships are trial and error. Formulas change when you change, or when your partners change.
Your chemistry with one person will be different from another. But we carry with us the failures and successes of the previous relationship.
There are a lot of staple mistakes though. Patterns that almost guarantee the demise of your relationship, no matter who it’s with.
Here are a few of them:
Thinking for one
When you’re in a couple, most brains automatically shift to thinking for two. At least for most.
But if you’re part of the minority who doesn’t, you might be in for some trouble with your partner.
What exactly is thinking for two?
It’s quite simple a concept, but not always easy to execute. Thinking for two means that you don’t only consider your side of things, or how something affects you, but considering how it will impact the both of you.
For example, making plans for the weekend. If a friend of yours invites you guys to a party, you can’t always just say yes on the spot.
You need to consult or at least think about your partner if they have made plans, or if they might be tired from that work week, or if there’s something significant happening like an anniversary and such.
Another example is when you rant to your friends or family about your problems with your partner.
How do you think that would affect your partner? How do you think that would affect others’ perception of him?
You need to think of you guys as a unit. As a team.
What affects one of you, affects both of you.
Too much independence
When you’re coupled up, you sometimes forget that you’re still individuals. So it’s healthy to still do things on your own, make your own plans, make your own goals, go out with your own set of friends from time to time and all that.
But if you start making more plans without them, that could become a problem real fast. Before you start asserting your individualism, hold back and ask yourself if you’ve established your relationship enough, if you’ve built a strong foundation with your partner.
The first year/s together are critical to your relationship because this is the time when you’re both still very eager to learn about each other, to establish your existence as a couple, and to be excited about each other in a way that’s different from when you’re 5 years down the road.
Use this formative time to really form a bond with your significant other. Don’t take them or this time for granted. Pick the right moments to assert your individuality.
Being too critical
Honesty and being able to be your true self are important in relationships. When you combine the two together, there seems to be a fine line you tread everytime because you want to get to know your partner inside and out, but you also can’t help but to criticize them for some of the things you find out.
When you find out things about your partner that you’re not a fan of, your first instinct is to let them know, which is perfectly fine. As long as your end goal is improvement, and not just to criticize, then it’s encouraged.
You need to watch your tone, choose your words, and make sure that you make your partner feel secure before you drop the bomb on them.
Disrespect
There are a lot of things that can show disrespect, and it varies from person to person. Find out what are the things that your partner deems as hurtful or offensive.
Be observant about the things that irk them or upset them. That process is also part of showing respect.
Be careful about not overstepping your boundaries because just because you’re a couple doesn’t mean their life is a free-for-all for you. Again, they are still individuals and operate as such on some level.
Be mindful that your actions do not make them feel as if you’re not keeping them in mind.
Secrecy
Fight the urge to keep things from your significant other. Even the simplest things, ones that really have no impact on your relationship will have ramifications if you decide to keep them as secrets.
Be as open as you can to your partner. Trust them with your life. It will only create deeper problems if you’re not sharing your thoughts, feelings, and problems with them.
Create a healthy environment for both of you to dialogue, to feel safe about sharing.
It’s important that both of you foster good communication in your relationship.
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